Women & Chivalry!

Every day I wake up and I question what is that makes me me! What is it that defines me? Every day I have the same answer. Without the slightest trace of doubt, without the slightest hesitation of momentary thinking! It’s my family. It’s my ever gorgeous mother and it’s my ever lovely sisters. That circle of the known connections of the heart and blood do not just limit me in defining who are my family but it goes far beyond that !
For, if I could have to paint the canvas with words, I would love to depict myself as an extension of these women in my life. Growing up in a family of women, a lineage of strong, independent women teaches you about life every single moment of your breathing life. Its humbling to say the least. To know that no matter what I become and what I achieve, its always going to be a tiny fraction of what they already have. It’s like comparing the vastness of this universe to a basketball.
As I was saying, growing up with so many women around is always the best that can happen to you as a human being. The relentless supply of inspiration unfolds itself gradually as you learn to appreciate that there can be no me  without you. This I simply do not say because we are born of women, but I say that because we manage to survive in this jungle of a world because of women! You need tolerance and you need patience, and you are not going to learn that in the confines of a school or in the pages of self –help books. Only a woman can show you the true meaning of what it is like to be these virtues rather these being just traits or words.
A mother’s love is unconditional we all know. And we all take it for granted. But we understand what a gift this is to our lives, when we stop to think and consider it.  No one will fight for you more than your sisters and stand in front of the world to cushion any blow the world throws at you. Women do things for the people in their lives because they want to and not because they have to. Its only the inherent fool in a man which makes the mistake of confusing love and duty; of confusing meekness with weakness and of confusing tolerance with helplessness.
Woman sacrifice every day of their lives; voluntarily or involuntarily!  This true for that strong woman who maybe is sitting in the leathery luxury of corporate board-seats or of the woman who sits in the field sowing seeds for her farmer husband! The situations different, the medium different however the spirit, it’s the same. The strength of a woman is not in her arms maybe, but is there in her unbreakable spirit, in the vastness of her pool of love.
For those of us who are fortunate enough to experience it, we know there is no force greater than the fierceness of a woman’s love. For when they love someone, they love with all their heart, with all that they have, even with their names. So if you are surrounded by such a blessed gift, make no mistake my man! Hold on it ! As she will carry you through it, no matter how strong the wind blows, no matter how hard the tempest gathers!
Unfortunately, a lot of us are silent witness to all that’s wrong for them. Sometimes even the reasons for all the wrong. There are lot of talks around the repercussions for the crimes committed against them, lot of awareness as to how women should protect themselves. While all that’s fine and should be encouraged, we need to appreciate the fact that every lesson starts at your own home. Why is it that some men look at women differently, treat them differently than some others ? The answer is sometimes very simple. We should learn to learn from the women around us. They will always teach you the right thing to do. There is no rocket science in the fact that men must own responsibility. Why isn’t it that our education system that emphasises on teaching redundant information that are of no use in the child’s development, cannot as much as inculcate the good habit of treating women equally and with respect right from their impressionable ages. Why is it that the measures always have to be in retrospect? While we can debate on it endlessly, the fact remains we are still struggling to provide foothold to those who provide us with our lives. A bit of shame, really!
That is why I stress that growing up with women is a blessing. While you surely will enjoy the company of your buddies, but opening a door for your woman, or pulling the chair for her will never go out of fashion! Or Culture!
This is a token of appreciation for all the women in my lives, my mother, my sisters, my best friends, my colleagues and to all those who I will know in the times to come who through their resplendent spirit draped in passion of their loves, the glimmer of their dreams, the tip toeing of their pumps, (sometimes their exorbitant shopping sprees ..;-)) make me look good! Make me who I am! Give me a reason to try become a better person! Give me a reason to try harder! Give me a reason to believe the Gentleman is not dead!
Let the chivalry not die. Let the reason for our chivalries not die.

Romancing the Mondays

Allow me to start this piece by quoting a small anecdote Iread in Howard Cutler’s discussions with the Dalai Lama in the book The Art ofHappiness at Work ( a beautiful book, a must read for those who are not afraidto ask questions about themselves).
Here it goes :


On the savannas andplains of a primordial land in the distant past, there once roamed a small bandof early humans. Among the band of prehistoric hunter-gatherers there were twobrothers, Jim and Lemarr. Having common parentage and common characteristics ashuman beings, the brothers were similar in many ways. Both enjoyed squatting bya warm fire on a chilly night, enjoyed a tasty haunch of antelope. But like allhumans, there were subtle differences in their genetic make-up resulting inslight variations, not only in appearance but also in intelligence, temperamentand disposition. Lemarr enjoyed making new things, developing and exercisingskills, and gained a sense of enjoyment and satisfaction from spending longhours engrossed in fashioning tools. Which he eventually used to hunt andcontrol the environment around him. Jim however, was less inclined to work, gettinggreater satisfaction from sitting around munching on walnuts and watching thesunset. One Tuesday afternoon , while he was engrossed in watching acaterpillar crawl across a leaf, Jim’s career as a caveman was cut short as heended up being the featured item on the lunch menu of a sabre-toothed tiger.Lemarr survived and had several children who became our remote ancestors andhis trait of the enjoyment of hard work was passed down to us.


Why this story? Well, the moral of the story is quite clear.Work hard or be remembered fondly in stories told by those you are survived by!Of course, in the modern context, unless you are in the armed forces, survivaldoesn’t automatically means fighting to keep your limbs attached your body likeJim. Here survival has an implicit meaning. Resulting from competition!
But choose if you will, there is another moral to the storyand that is : We are genetically imbibed with a gene that allows us to enjoyhard work. I will go one further and say the by products of hard work. Of awork well done! That feeling at the end of the day, that feeling of content ofa day well spent.
But somewhere along the course, we have managed to create amonster out of a day of the week. The big green goblin called Mondays that wekeep moaning about every Sunday and till the final minute of our time spent inthe office/at our jobs on the Monday that follows. Every Sunday we meet ourfriends and their friends and instead of enjoying the bliss of the break thatvery moment has to offer,we hear them relentlessly complain about the Mondaynext, of their busy schedules that is supposed to kill the joy of their lifeand of the sapping work hours that’s going to eventually be the cause of theirdemises. Countless people post/share mind numbingly stupid photo shoppedpictures of a distorted face of a baby cribbing about the apparent Monday. Thenwe walk into our office premises and the minute later, the cribbing of ourcolleagues starts.
Have you ever stopped and wondered, why is it thateverywhere everyone complains of the same thing but no one has ever bothered toprovide a solution ? Have you stopped and asked yourself this question if thisMonday plagues you so much, what can you do to change the pattern ? The answerfor most of us out there will be a resounding one – NO!
Complaining is contagious and we get an intrinsic boost inevoking similar emotions and thereby introducing a latent chain of sympathycycle in our lives that simply put is a buzz kill. It kills your enthusiasm forthe work that you do which quite logically affects your output and efficiency. Itstunts your growth professionally and personally. Because soon you start losingthe drive!
A lot of us out there spend majority of our waking time inlives at work and thereby it is quite rational to conclude that this microcosmof our beings require attention. Very rightly put by the effervescent spirit ofthe Dalai Lama, there are 3 ways we can view our work :

As a job – We all need to start somewhere and more often than not we do take up a job simply as a job because it provides for the necessities of life. It might not be your dream job but in a world but where you can’t exchange a litre of petrol by smiling at the attendant, its good to have a steady source of income. Like it or not, no employer likes you when you complain about your job. On a Monday!

As a career – Viewing that the job you do today is the building the platform for a career you aspired for. Some people do tend to choose careers over money! That’s a different story. Think about it. But it all started with going to work on Monday and giving your best.

As a calling – there are some fortunate ones who are liable to break the barriers of the job and career and view the work that they do as a calling for something bigger, more meaningful in life. But talk to any one of them who have attained that stage, you will not find a soul who didn’t go through the phase of having to question themselves about the work that they do.
Each one of us has had a calling.Varied from each other’s but be very sure there is one in us. Find it, questionit! Be sure that this is what you want! And if what you are doing is not whatyou want, consider the practical questions whether you have a platform strongenough to move on from. No matter what you do, where you are, which field youare in – the basics remain the same. Respect your job. Respect the work you aredoing. That’s the least you can do.
If you are find it difficult tore ignite the spark, think about that day in school or college when you sawyour parents get all dressed up and go to work. And aspiring to become likethem whence you grew up. Think about the moment when you got your first job andyour heart jumped with joy. That was the moment you thought, now I too amsomebody. That sheer pleasure of tasting freedom. Independence!
Think about the excitement youexperienced when you met so many new people on the first day of job. Most of usmeet more people at our work places than anywhere else (statistically proven).Most people are shaped by the people they meet at work. Now that’s got to countfor something. Do those little idiosyncrasies which make you look forward forthe day. Press your clothes, tie the knot, and polish your shoes. Look forwardto greeting everyone with a genuine smile.
Even the simple gesture of wakingup and thanking the Universe for having a reason to get out of bed and going towork is worth living for! Try, if it works your life has changed. If it hasn’t,you haven’t tried.
A wise man once said, “ I likethe feeling of putting in a day’s hard work and then enjoying the feeling ofbeing tired!” Why not experience that on the first day of our weeks.
I hardly meet people these days thatlook forward to going to work on the Monday. Why not be the one that changesthe pattern? Enthusiasm can spread faster than the forest fire.
Next time someone complains abouttheir Mondays being a headache, just politely ask them to then not kill yourjoy! If they complain about their headaches(we all know what causes the Mondayheadaches) offer them an aspirin and move on.
Enjoy the work you do, enjoy thelife you live. Find the motivation. If you can’t motivate yourselves, be sureno one else will. We all have a reason to work hard. Your work might be hardnow, but who said its going to be any easier. That’s why the saying is, “ Youearn you living!”

The Year That Wasn’t – 2012

The Year That Wasn’t – 2012

Every morning brings with its new promises and hopes that beholds the life – altering power of touching lives and generations. It carries in its heart moments of inspiration, aspirations, love and hatred, brutality and kindness, vigour and lethargy, injustice and justice, confusion and equilibrium.  The first morning of 2012 was even special. As it brought along with it the promise and potential of a year that would be exemplary in the history of calendar years marked by unprecedented events that would be recorded in history for posterity!

The year began on a high note as one of our ex – ministers tainted for corrupting the Commonwealth Games 2010 and accused of siphoning off the amount of money with zeroes in it that would leave a trail blaze if it would crawl on the earth, cheating criminal conspiracy and forgery amongst others was denied bail by the Delhi High Court. In a landmark judgement the court over ruled the logic of “bail should be a rule and jail exception” and rebuked the leader for taking such a stance despite being a democratic leader. Later this year when he requested to be allowed to go witness the opening ceremony of London Olympics, he was asked if he was willing to go inaugurate a sports gym in the remote corners of the state for the underprivileged which would be built with his money. The request seemed to have put the gentleman in a shock as he has not spoken since then. And has not been heard of too!

In keeping up with its landmark judgments and tightening it’s noose around the miscreants of the society, especially those serving the public, the Highest Court of India denied bail to yet another minister,  an ex- minister of Telecom & IT, who was accused of cheating the Indian Government of close to 30 Billion USD in relation with the 2G scam.  The court also noted that it was up to him prove his innocence than the centre to prove him guilty now. He was been given an ultimatum that on failing to do within year, the Government will be bound to cease his assets, auction them and use the money for improving the telecom infrastructure of the country which has been set back by years due to the controversy.

The judiciary seemed to be on a roll this year in meting out apt justice. The public voice around the country seems to be heard.  The Government instead of its previous high handed attitude towards the public that puts them in power in the first place is taking a more careful approach.  Certain pundits have pointed out that the change in attitude has come with the recognition of the fact that the youth is waking up to its voting right, its freedom of speech and rights of citizenship in a democratic, republic country.  The suppressed anger amongst the citizens are now been given a platform to be vented via forums such as India Against Corruption.  Recently, a charter has been submitted, a petition has been filed, signed by more than 20 million people to not allow election tickets to anyone who has any criminal history. This will go a long way in ensuring we have people in power at least for the next generation whose judgement of criminals will not be affected by the fact that some of them have shared bread in some jail in the past.

2012 also the implementation of an Act which will no longer allow anyone without a college degree to apply for an Election seat anymore! A senior leader chuckled in Parliament that this might mean our country might run short of supply of leaders looking at the current trend.

Freedom of speech was an aspect that has been paid special attention with cartoonists and media being requested ( and not warned, threatened with a gun, murdered in the dark alleys, called a Maosit on National Television ) to be careful of what they print and represent. A more tactful approach has been requested to be considered, one that will not demean the Government and its leaders and the one that will allow them to ask valid questions as well.  Almost in hindsight, some politicians have been asked to develop some sense of humour too!

Justice was finally delivered to Indians when main accused of 26/11 blasts in Mumbai was made to clean the sewers of many cities across the countries as part of his punishment. Identifying that death sentence was probably apt but far too easy for such heinous crime, the mass murderer was made to go through a series of community service in the very country he planned to blow up. Ranging from sewer cleaning to washing tonnes of clothes for old people, to earning the daily wage for a few labours to sweeping highways, Ajmal Kasab was made to realise that he was no messenger of God as he claimed. He finally got dengue whilst cleaning animal excreta and died a lonely death.  No virgins were waiting for him there either! Maybe next lifetime Kasab, you will go to a school!

But our dear country’s plight did not end there as one might have wondered. Whilst Kasab planted bombs to blow up the city, there are new band of terrorists that are walking the streets. Recent incidents have showed that they are an even more dangerous brand of assassins, much on the lines of medieval men who sometimes wore good clothes, looked exactly decent and civil but were eating up the society from inside but attacking the modesty of our women. Some of the incidents have been so mind numbing and brutal that scientists have decided to conduct a study to check whether these creatures are actually humans or are some sort of animals or are a result of degenerative mutation. Animal right supporters have objected strongly against these creatures being compared to animals though quoting its hideous to compare the two. With rising number of rape cases being registered every day, the Government in an unprecedented move has decided to allow the special session in Parliament where in amendments to existing laws against such crimes will be discussed. In the meantime, all convicted rapists have been branded on their behinds with a hot metal rod stating – “I’m a rapist! Stone me to death!”

Despite the sad nature and turn of events, whenever people have come together and protested their rising angst and discomfort against the apathy and inaction of state authorities, the central Government and the enforcers of the law, what has been heartening to see that unlike in the past where lathi charges and tear gas shelling was a common sight on the unarmed public, silent protests have been encouraged, and instead of going into hiding and calling youths and educated college students members of mafia, dialogues have been encouraged. Suggestions have been asked for, television appearances to calm the public has been made and instead of coming to meet the public surrounded by commandoes, and the politicians are being more humble.

Identifying social reform at its grass root levels, schools and colleges have been served notices to start including courses that will teach young boys to not objectify women, to respect women and to treat them as equals.  They will be judged very strictly every three months by their fellow women teachers & student. On failing the course, the girls/women can decide what course of action should be taken.

Other significant news this year saw India winning 50 gold medals in London Olympics this year, in addition to 30 silvers and 20 bronzes. World records were set in swimming & athletics. The contingents were given a rousing welcome on their return home and paid hefty bonuses for making the country proud. Insiders suggest sponsors pulled their money from non performing cricketers and decided on giving it to these winning athletes.

Also to make headlines this year was the decision to not grant learning licenses for students below 18 years of age. While this decision drew a lot of flak, the move stems from the logic to encourage youth to start making better use of public transport. Some have welcomed the move.  The Government decision to cut on fuel prices has provided a sense of relief too. This came on the back of the decision to revoke the limitation of the official drinking age to be 25. Acknowledging that the official number attached to the definition of an adult is 21 which empower them to vote, the Government has restored the faith that they can be responsible with the glasses in their hands too. However, since then the police have taken active measures to check on drunk driving to ensure things don’t go out of control.

Talking of police, special mention needs to be given to them for their change they have undergone this past year. The potbellied sergeants have been asked to go back to training camps to regain their fitness; the officers across the country have been equipped better with faster vehicles, newer weapons and advanced trainings. The change in stance is visible too.  One prime example being unlike in the past, where the common people were forced to stay inside on curfew, be it the death of any leader or the event of any misdoing, the police now encourages the public to continue with their daily life, to go about their business, promising that they don’t need to be worried, for their protection is in safe hands. This has seen the state revenue to go up considerably as there are fewer bandhs and lesser holidays on working days.

Finally, some bit of the Mayan prophecy did come true as an earthquake shattered a central jail which housed tainted politicians being tried for years for corruption, rapists who got away lightly with erroneous punishments and terrorists who were eating fruits after drinking the bloods of thousands. They all died under the weight of their own misdoings. Good riddance after all!

All in all,2012 was a year where promises were brought to action, the common mass dying under the weight of taxes got some reprieve, the Government decided to end their slumber party, the voices of people were heard and public servants being made answerable. Some say a democracy is reborn! Some say I am day dreaming! I choose to see as parallel truth for truth is nothing but what I perceive, truth is what I believe, truth is what I bring into action!

Maa Tujhe Salaam

They say "behind every story of success there is a woman" . There is more truth to that than we can fathom, cause behind every life there is a woman.

I had been waiting for my favourite entertainer's show for a while now, waiting anxiously what winds its going to bring about with it. While there was bated anxiety and expectation, my heart sank tonight when I saw the show. It really did! And not because I was disappointed but because of the extent to which i was stirred.

A majority of our population must have seen the show, and at the end of it, a lot of people around the world, a lot of men around the world, must be wondering how to face their women, how to face themselves.
Here I was, safe to say living in my own world, living in my own bubble, positive of a shining India ! A India, which i believed was fast on the track of becoming a country of equal opportunities, equal regardless of gender. And my beliefs are not based on whim! But based on what i see.

Everyday i come across so many women who hold their heads high and live thier lives with such grace, honour, composure and affection. Be it the vegetable vendor who proudly boasts the greatest accomplishment of her life, providing english-medium based education for her daughter, my mother's doctor who never gets tired of spreading the joy with her radiant smile, my colleagues in office or be it my little niece, who with her toothless smile takes away the stress of the day. And yet, i will have to live with the fact that over the course of last few decades, 3 crore, women were murdered in their mother's wombs, before they could see the light of the day, before the cruelty of mankind would let them make our lives better.

How could we ? Isnt it ? Sounds mind numbing but stir your hearts a little more, search for the answer a little more and you will find that despite all the education or lack of it, its the animal in us that makes it possible.Because there are hoards of silly little retards amongst us in the society , some call themselves as MEN, who think through their genitalia and believe in the miracle of its existence so much, that they end up making the mistake of believing in thier superiority.

I have always found myselves at cross-roads with the saying " Ladies first! ". Because I dont believe there is an chivalry in just mouthing that and not treating them equally. Or putting on that fake cloak of 'gentlemen' and going home and yelling and beating our women. Its not that i was living in ignorance and believed that domestic violence on women was a stigma of the past, and that female foeticide was a tale of the myth. However, i would have to admit Dr. Khurana's story shook me up the most. We keep claiming that education is vital to our beliefs, to what we are and what we become, yet a professor father in law and a ex -principal of a school mother-in law, was torturing so! Shame on you !!
In a culture, where we bow our heads down to Maa Durga, does our hand not shake when we raise them on an avatar amongst us ? Does our mind not stop to ponder when we murderthe unborn girl child ? Do we not look around the room and see those little steps of Lakshmi at our doorsteps, does our heart not weep when we realise men are there because of women!!

Since the day we are born, there is some women or the other who has made sacrifices for us, and continues to do so ! Be it our mothers, our sisters, our wives! We count on them, we depend on them, and yet we cant respect them enough! Shame on all of us !

I dont have to look too far to be grateful, the three women in my life, my mother and my sisters, have touched so many lives around them, they cant even begin to imagine. My every bit of respect is reserved for you all, cause some trundle through life, you decided to triumph in it, and above all, teach me everyday, how to be a better being, and a better man.

( A special note about a woman who will remain ever so special for being with me during those hard times; there are none like you! )

To all the men out there, strive to become a better man, by treating the women in your lives with respect. The more you give, the more you earn. Your manhood is not in your strength, but in the way you treat your women, your dignity is in your women's dignity, your pride swells in the eyes of your women!

So grow a pair, stand up to the wrongs, treat them right and then call yourselves MEN!!

Of Owls & The Economy

Of Owls & The Economy

Nosy neighbours are always an irritating aspect of our daily lives but once in a while you do come across those shallowly-opinionated, know-it-all monkeys whose words one would hardly take seriously but are harsh enough to enrage your temper, even if that means for a minute or so!

I recently had the privilege of coming across a not-so-gentleman called Mr Shinde who co-habitates in the same building with a lot of other gentlemen. Keeping aside the fact that his sons have jobs in the States and which to him by some unwritten code elevates him to all the social privileges that one can think of in his wildest dreams( including parking space ), he generally has opinions about things he has no clue about. Harsh judgement? Not really, after he generously showed his ignorant side to a few the other morning when he decided to verbally attack Sarfaraz( not a fictitious character),a young professional in his late twenties.

The spark of altercation was ignited when Mr Shinde not so politely knocked on Sarfaraz’s door at eight in the morning. His point of discontent being that the way Sarfaraz had parked his bike was obstructing his parking space, which again, goes without saying that it was not! Sarfaraz works in one of the biggest BPOs in the country and after having sacrificed his nights towards his work hours since the last five years has grown to the position of a Group Manager.

Obviously tired after his shift and being well aware of Mr Shinde’s habit on picking on him, he just apologised and told Mr Shinde, “ I was a bit sleepy and maybe I accidentally parked there!”.

To which our uncouth Mr Shinde replies, “ It is none of my concern that you were sleepy ! God knows which bar do you work the entire night in but this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated in this place. This is a Sharifo ka society!”.

Fortunately, unfortunately I was passing by at that point of time and heard it. It was alarming the way Mr Shinde was speaking to a well-educated and behaved young man and was abusing his profession without the slightest hint of provocation. Sarfaraz just closed the door on his face and went inside.

Mr Shinde being meted out the treatment of neglect which he deserved did not want to stop at nothing. For twenty minutes he kept on ranting why the society should not allow, let me quote “Call centre hooligans”.

From that it was pretty obvious that Mr Shinde’s discomfort was not about the parking space but it was Sarfaraz working in a call-centre. To him the point of significance was not working but call-centre.

But this is just not Mr Shinde’s opinion. There are thousands by the number out there, whom Shashi Tharoor refers to as the bien peasant class and I as ignorant hussies, who are convinced to the very core of their souls that anyone working in a call-centre is either a talentless society-reject who could not complete his engineering and medical and hence had his fate destined to work in an apparently unholy place, or is a misguided individual who is open to inflicting themselves with drugs and other things such as S.E.X.!!!! Lack of proper upbringing is what apparently drove them to this point and of course, the blanket of culture will devoid them off its holiness!

But why this squinted outlook to a contributing factor in the economy which adds to close to $18 Billions by providing employment to close to 800,000 employees across India. Is it because we are so narrow minded that we are unable to digest the fact that someone who did not have the privilege of spending close to five lakhs for professional courses still earns almost as much in the very first of his or her employment or have we taken the myth about jobs falling from the clouds promised by an earlier government so seriously that we have rather have our younger lot of work force sit and wait for that day to come than actually use the sweat of youth to employment ?

I don’t have to look far to pick an example. Mr Shinde’s youngest son has been studying to be an IAS since the last five years. Great perseverance one may say, but let me add the other side of the truth. He is still unemployed. And he is close to twenty eight. Almost of the same age, Sarfaraz is a Group Manager. The measure of comparison is right there for us!!

And Sarfaraz is not the only of the lot, there is an entire generation of youth who a certain Mr Bhagat very unfairly calls as crutches to the outsourcing world, who are willing to get out of their comfort zone and earn their own independence. This is a lot which probably does not always dress up in a tie and a suit every day and more often than not will be spotted in a casual t-shirt and jeans at their workplace but don’t make the mistake of judging them by the mood and choice of their clothes. They are the ones who have helped first build, then grow and now sustain an economy which very proudly many an ignorant, stuck-up and jim dandies think have grown from the trees which are as old and ancient as their thinking.

One may also argue about how there is more to than just the straitjacketing of the BPO industry to putting on fake accents and taking pseudo western names, however still considering only that aspect of the industry , it is not easy to try and adopt a culture and converse and convince someone sitting across the globe about a product you hardly know! But they still to do it!

Sirs, have some respect to the level of commitment and dedication if not anything else.

And here is the simple math :

If an average BPO employs 300 people, and considering that there are fifty BPOs in each developed city, considering the domestic & the international sectors, that’s fifteen thousand citizens who have jobs. And even if we consider them as the only earning member of the family, that’s 15000 families who have a source of income at an average salary of 12000-15000 Rupees.

So wake up people, because the Owls have and they are driving the economy. And trust me you, it hardly matters to them whether anyone conforms or not. Because they are living and changing the dynamics of the society, the way India was perceived till the earlier part of this century and the way it is perceived at the turn of this decade.

The owls have redefined the concept of liberalisation and modernization, and reshaped the structural deformity of our economy. They are here to stay and they are here to fly.

If you cant keep up, just shut up and go to sleep, cause there is a whole lot of work to be done when the clock strikes nine.

P.S : All the characters in this piece are real and if they bear any resemblance to anyone living or dead, its not a co-incidence.

The Government's Sense Of Humour!!

Rupees 32 a day, keeps the poverty away!

Apparently!!

For those of us who thought the Central Government had a cheeky sense of humor when it came to dealing with the common man, were obviously taken aback and rather surprisingly by this Constitutional body that almost with a bit of sarcasm calls itself the Planning Commission. For the lesser mortals who are not aware of the angelic responsibilities that this Committee burdens the shoulders of its plethora of approaching –octogenarian members with, some of its core responsibilities include calculating and somehow deriving at mind bogglingly simplistic denouement of numbers that beats common logic. In simpler words, The Planning Commission advices the Government of what it should concentrate on and what it can safely overlook( considering they are worth overlooking ) in the next five years.

And recently, with the penache of a true humourist, these group of men delivered a rather dark humour on whom you and me can call poor and whom we shouldn’t ! According to these group of finely educated men, rupees 32 a day should suffice someone to not call himself needy and poor and thus stop seeking Government’s attention when it comes to rather silly daily needs like shelter, medicine, clothing and oh, of course food ! So the next time you come across a rather desperate looking destitute, with his or her clothes tattered, bleeding at his knees from having slept on the road the night before & before & before & before, have some common sense before sparing a penny from the pockets of your generosity and ask him, what’s his daily earning ? It might get you a few raised eyebrows but its worth asking. If the answer is Rupees 31.99, come on! He is poor, give me rs 31.99 but mind it, if he says rupees 32.01, you are being taken for a ride!

Don’t just walk away! Stand there, look him in the eye and tell him, “Sir, shame on you! You earn more than Rupees 32 a day and still you are asking for money! You are above the poverty line, that should be enough to support your family, is it not ?” And see him walk away with that little kid with kwashiorkorishly pale hair.

And as you see him approaching another stranger, take pride in the fact that the Planning Commission has helped you teach someone a lesson whilst keeping your sense of pride and true humanity intact!

For those of you sceptics, who are not convinced by the advisory council’s logic and are seriously challenging calling this figure, dare I say, paltry, should be advised that you will proved wrong ! After all, these figures have been carefully derived and been arrived at by a seriously well-taught, & educated group of gentlemen, whose rationale are far above sound than you & me. They have gone to good schools and attended Oxford et all. What are the chances that you are right and they are wrong? And for crying out loud, they are responsible for these people, being linked to the Government. Don’t you think that their sense of common and understanding would take everything into account before letting you and me believe anything?

Food inflation, some misinformed group of people say are reaching double figures. They even tell me its been on a rise as such that its been on a rising curve fifteen times in the last eighteen months. Now if I’m to believe that, wouldn’t it mean that at this rate, inflation rate would reach the figure of 32 ( percent and not rupees, you silly morons!). Can that happen?

So all you out there, be careful the next time you go for an interview and say you are in desperate need of the job, or you complain about the rising fuel hikes or refuse to buy that expensive piece of scarf you saw in the boutique. Rupees 32 is enough to keep your heads above the water. You wouldn’t die homeless, hungry and diseased ! As long as you have Rupees 32 a day, and if you plan on saving, the Planning Commission has that idea too. They have after months of thinking and putting to use their priceless experience gathered over years, concluded that in rural areas you need 27 Rs / day. Now now! Isnt that Rupees 5 a day that’s been saved!!

Here we were, worried about the rise in the standard of living and all that jazz!!

The next time someone comes to rob your house; they will only steal & rob you off at the rate of 32Rs/day. And yes, I’m optimistic the rate of criminal activities will too see an all-time low in the coming months!

See a person, that’s why I vote! Because it helps us get insights from these delightfully intelligent and humorous people who show us the way. You might want to challenge the theory but I must warn you, a certain Mr Ex- IMF and his entourage would prove you unworthy of your own sentiment, logic, and rationale with a pinch of salt and humour and laugh at your deranged bewilderment!

The word is out –

Rupees 32 a day keeps the beggars & criminals away.