Of Owls & The Economy

Of Owls & The Economy

Nosy neighbours are always an irritating aspect of our daily lives but once in a while you do come across those shallowly-opinionated, know-it-all monkeys whose words one would hardly take seriously but are harsh enough to enrage your temper, even if that means for a minute or so!

I recently had the privilege of coming across a not-so-gentleman called Mr Shinde who co-habitates in the same building with a lot of other gentlemen. Keeping aside the fact that his sons have jobs in the States and which to him by some unwritten code elevates him to all the social privileges that one can think of in his wildest dreams( including parking space ), he generally has opinions about things he has no clue about. Harsh judgement? Not really, after he generously showed his ignorant side to a few the other morning when he decided to verbally attack Sarfaraz( not a fictitious character),a young professional in his late twenties.

The spark of altercation was ignited when Mr Shinde not so politely knocked on Sarfaraz’s door at eight in the morning. His point of discontent being that the way Sarfaraz had parked his bike was obstructing his parking space, which again, goes without saying that it was not! Sarfaraz works in one of the biggest BPOs in the country and after having sacrificed his nights towards his work hours since the last five years has grown to the position of a Group Manager.

Obviously tired after his shift and being well aware of Mr Shinde’s habit on picking on him, he just apologised and told Mr Shinde, “ I was a bit sleepy and maybe I accidentally parked there!”.

To which our uncouth Mr Shinde replies, “ It is none of my concern that you were sleepy ! God knows which bar do you work the entire night in but this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated in this place. This is a Sharifo ka society!”.

Fortunately, unfortunately I was passing by at that point of time and heard it. It was alarming the way Mr Shinde was speaking to a well-educated and behaved young man and was abusing his profession without the slightest hint of provocation. Sarfaraz just closed the door on his face and went inside.

Mr Shinde being meted out the treatment of neglect which he deserved did not want to stop at nothing. For twenty minutes he kept on ranting why the society should not allow, let me quote “Call centre hooligans”.

From that it was pretty obvious that Mr Shinde’s discomfort was not about the parking space but it was Sarfaraz working in a call-centre. To him the point of significance was not working but call-centre.

But this is just not Mr Shinde’s opinion. There are thousands by the number out there, whom Shashi Tharoor refers to as the bien peasant class and I as ignorant hussies, who are convinced to the very core of their souls that anyone working in a call-centre is either a talentless society-reject who could not complete his engineering and medical and hence had his fate destined to work in an apparently unholy place, or is a misguided individual who is open to inflicting themselves with drugs and other things such as S.E.X.!!!! Lack of proper upbringing is what apparently drove them to this point and of course, the blanket of culture will devoid them off its holiness!

But why this squinted outlook to a contributing factor in the economy which adds to close to $18 Billions by providing employment to close to 800,000 employees across India. Is it because we are so narrow minded that we are unable to digest the fact that someone who did not have the privilege of spending close to five lakhs for professional courses still earns almost as much in the very first of his or her employment or have we taken the myth about jobs falling from the clouds promised by an earlier government so seriously that we have rather have our younger lot of work force sit and wait for that day to come than actually use the sweat of youth to employment ?

I don’t have to look far to pick an example. Mr Shinde’s youngest son has been studying to be an IAS since the last five years. Great perseverance one may say, but let me add the other side of the truth. He is still unemployed. And he is close to twenty eight. Almost of the same age, Sarfaraz is a Group Manager. The measure of comparison is right there for us!!

And Sarfaraz is not the only of the lot, there is an entire generation of youth who a certain Mr Bhagat very unfairly calls as crutches to the outsourcing world, who are willing to get out of their comfort zone and earn their own independence. This is a lot which probably does not always dress up in a tie and a suit every day and more often than not will be spotted in a casual t-shirt and jeans at their workplace but don’t make the mistake of judging them by the mood and choice of their clothes. They are the ones who have helped first build, then grow and now sustain an economy which very proudly many an ignorant, stuck-up and jim dandies think have grown from the trees which are as old and ancient as their thinking.

One may also argue about how there is more to than just the straitjacketing of the BPO industry to putting on fake accents and taking pseudo western names, however still considering only that aspect of the industry , it is not easy to try and adopt a culture and converse and convince someone sitting across the globe about a product you hardly know! But they still to do it!

Sirs, have some respect to the level of commitment and dedication if not anything else.

And here is the simple math :

If an average BPO employs 300 people, and considering that there are fifty BPOs in each developed city, considering the domestic & the international sectors, that’s fifteen thousand citizens who have jobs. And even if we consider them as the only earning member of the family, that’s 15000 families who have a source of income at an average salary of 12000-15000 Rupees.

So wake up people, because the Owls have and they are driving the economy. And trust me you, it hardly matters to them whether anyone conforms or not. Because they are living and changing the dynamics of the society, the way India was perceived till the earlier part of this century and the way it is perceived at the turn of this decade.

The owls have redefined the concept of liberalisation and modernization, and reshaped the structural deformity of our economy. They are here to stay and they are here to fly.

If you cant keep up, just shut up and go to sleep, cause there is a whole lot of work to be done when the clock strikes nine.

P.S : All the characters in this piece are real and if they bear any resemblance to anyone living or dead, its not a co-incidence.

The Government's Sense Of Humour!!

Rupees 32 a day, keeps the poverty away!

Apparently!!

For those of us who thought the Central Government had a cheeky sense of humor when it came to dealing with the common man, were obviously taken aback and rather surprisingly by this Constitutional body that almost with a bit of sarcasm calls itself the Planning Commission. For the lesser mortals who are not aware of the angelic responsibilities that this Committee burdens the shoulders of its plethora of approaching –octogenarian members with, some of its core responsibilities include calculating and somehow deriving at mind bogglingly simplistic denouement of numbers that beats common logic. In simpler words, The Planning Commission advices the Government of what it should concentrate on and what it can safely overlook( considering they are worth overlooking ) in the next five years.

And recently, with the penache of a true humourist, these group of men delivered a rather dark humour on whom you and me can call poor and whom we shouldn’t ! According to these group of finely educated men, rupees 32 a day should suffice someone to not call himself needy and poor and thus stop seeking Government’s attention when it comes to rather silly daily needs like shelter, medicine, clothing and oh, of course food ! So the next time you come across a rather desperate looking destitute, with his or her clothes tattered, bleeding at his knees from having slept on the road the night before & before & before & before, have some common sense before sparing a penny from the pockets of your generosity and ask him, what’s his daily earning ? It might get you a few raised eyebrows but its worth asking. If the answer is Rupees 31.99, come on! He is poor, give me rs 31.99 but mind it, if he says rupees 32.01, you are being taken for a ride!

Don’t just walk away! Stand there, look him in the eye and tell him, “Sir, shame on you! You earn more than Rupees 32 a day and still you are asking for money! You are above the poverty line, that should be enough to support your family, is it not ?” And see him walk away with that little kid with kwashiorkorishly pale hair.

And as you see him approaching another stranger, take pride in the fact that the Planning Commission has helped you teach someone a lesson whilst keeping your sense of pride and true humanity intact!

For those of you sceptics, who are not convinced by the advisory council’s logic and are seriously challenging calling this figure, dare I say, paltry, should be advised that you will proved wrong ! After all, these figures have been carefully derived and been arrived at by a seriously well-taught, & educated group of gentlemen, whose rationale are far above sound than you & me. They have gone to good schools and attended Oxford et all. What are the chances that you are right and they are wrong? And for crying out loud, they are responsible for these people, being linked to the Government. Don’t you think that their sense of common and understanding would take everything into account before letting you and me believe anything?

Food inflation, some misinformed group of people say are reaching double figures. They even tell me its been on a rise as such that its been on a rising curve fifteen times in the last eighteen months. Now if I’m to believe that, wouldn’t it mean that at this rate, inflation rate would reach the figure of 32 ( percent and not rupees, you silly morons!). Can that happen?

So all you out there, be careful the next time you go for an interview and say you are in desperate need of the job, or you complain about the rising fuel hikes or refuse to buy that expensive piece of scarf you saw in the boutique. Rupees 32 is enough to keep your heads above the water. You wouldn’t die homeless, hungry and diseased ! As long as you have Rupees 32 a day, and if you plan on saving, the Planning Commission has that idea too. They have after months of thinking and putting to use their priceless experience gathered over years, concluded that in rural areas you need 27 Rs / day. Now now! Isnt that Rupees 5 a day that’s been saved!!

Here we were, worried about the rise in the standard of living and all that jazz!!

The next time someone comes to rob your house; they will only steal & rob you off at the rate of 32Rs/day. And yes, I’m optimistic the rate of criminal activities will too see an all-time low in the coming months!

See a person, that’s why I vote! Because it helps us get insights from these delightfully intelligent and humorous people who show us the way. You might want to challenge the theory but I must warn you, a certain Mr Ex- IMF and his entourage would prove you unworthy of your own sentiment, logic, and rationale with a pinch of salt and humour and laugh at your deranged bewilderment!

The word is out –

Rupees 32 a day keeps the beggars & criminals away.

The Second Uprising

15th August 1947, the birth of a democratic nation; 15th August 2011, a wake up call to a sleeping beast or beauty, different perspectives, but same identity! Our times and recent past have been wrecked by massive political and economic riddles ; riddles we have created but without the privilege of having the answers to them. What the Pandit and the Mahatma had dreamt through countless, sleepless nights with passionate eyes and an even more passionate grit, in a decade which was sitting on the explosive side of the Second World War, was not the Sovereign in which we call ourselves Indians or Bhartiyas! The country today is like an artist's painting gone bad! And not because the canvas ran out of space to contain the ideas or the colors didn't show its true self but because the artist didn't realise that when the painting goes up for sale, the marketing is not in his hand!

Our governments, be it Congress, BJP or any of the umpteen coalition of stupidities that brought together a mob of dullards and cretins,has had an sweet romance with corruption. Its on their job profile. If you have character, you should be not in Politics, that's what the message they have given! Somewhere then we the people, and we the Nation have failed our selves by choosing the Governments, by a system what we frailly call as Voting system. Its like giving a fire arm to a chimp and hoping he has been trained enough not to shoot you!

But again, keeping that folly aside for a moment, did the Government make a colossal mistake by arresting a septuagenarian in the desperate attempt to keep its head up in drowning tsunami of suppressed anger slowly making its way out? Did they mistake the strength of his knees with the strength of his beliefs and reach! The answer is a resounding yes, such a deafeningly loud one that its going to resonate through the times and pages of history.For you have not entrapped the angel, but the beast he was guarding! The sound of democracy is ear splitting!

Every society needs an inspiration and more importantly a channel to voice and vent the oppression. A country fighting the daily struggles of inflation and its side effects, could do away with a few Rajas and Kalmadis, and if the people who are trusted with the responsibility of keeping it clean are doers of mess, they better have answers and course of action.

For people who sneer at the thought of what I regard as the Second Uprising, endorse the ideology and not the idealist.

For what the young bloods of yesteryears and today failed to do; providing a wakening call if not anything; a man in the twilight of his life has done. Age is just a number, our beliefs make what we are!