The Government's Sense Of Humour!!

Rupees 32 a day, keeps the poverty away!

Apparently!!

For those of us who thought the Central Government had a cheeky sense of humor when it came to dealing with the common man, were obviously taken aback and rather surprisingly by this Constitutional body that almost with a bit of sarcasm calls itself the Planning Commission. For the lesser mortals who are not aware of the angelic responsibilities that this Committee burdens the shoulders of its plethora of approaching –octogenarian members with, some of its core responsibilities include calculating and somehow deriving at mind bogglingly simplistic denouement of numbers that beats common logic. In simpler words, The Planning Commission advices the Government of what it should concentrate on and what it can safely overlook( considering they are worth overlooking ) in the next five years.

And recently, with the penache of a true humourist, these group of men delivered a rather dark humour on whom you and me can call poor and whom we shouldn’t ! According to these group of finely educated men, rupees 32 a day should suffice someone to not call himself needy and poor and thus stop seeking Government’s attention when it comes to rather silly daily needs like shelter, medicine, clothing and oh, of course food ! So the next time you come across a rather desperate looking destitute, with his or her clothes tattered, bleeding at his knees from having slept on the road the night before & before & before & before, have some common sense before sparing a penny from the pockets of your generosity and ask him, what’s his daily earning ? It might get you a few raised eyebrows but its worth asking. If the answer is Rupees 31.99, come on! He is poor, give me rs 31.99 but mind it, if he says rupees 32.01, you are being taken for a ride!

Don’t just walk away! Stand there, look him in the eye and tell him, “Sir, shame on you! You earn more than Rupees 32 a day and still you are asking for money! You are above the poverty line, that should be enough to support your family, is it not ?” And see him walk away with that little kid with kwashiorkorishly pale hair.

And as you see him approaching another stranger, take pride in the fact that the Planning Commission has helped you teach someone a lesson whilst keeping your sense of pride and true humanity intact!

For those of you sceptics, who are not convinced by the advisory council’s logic and are seriously challenging calling this figure, dare I say, paltry, should be advised that you will proved wrong ! After all, these figures have been carefully derived and been arrived at by a seriously well-taught, & educated group of gentlemen, whose rationale are far above sound than you & me. They have gone to good schools and attended Oxford et all. What are the chances that you are right and they are wrong? And for crying out loud, they are responsible for these people, being linked to the Government. Don’t you think that their sense of common and understanding would take everything into account before letting you and me believe anything?

Food inflation, some misinformed group of people say are reaching double figures. They even tell me its been on a rise as such that its been on a rising curve fifteen times in the last eighteen months. Now if I’m to believe that, wouldn’t it mean that at this rate, inflation rate would reach the figure of 32 ( percent and not rupees, you silly morons!). Can that happen?

So all you out there, be careful the next time you go for an interview and say you are in desperate need of the job, or you complain about the rising fuel hikes or refuse to buy that expensive piece of scarf you saw in the boutique. Rupees 32 is enough to keep your heads above the water. You wouldn’t die homeless, hungry and diseased ! As long as you have Rupees 32 a day, and if you plan on saving, the Planning Commission has that idea too. They have after months of thinking and putting to use their priceless experience gathered over years, concluded that in rural areas you need 27 Rs / day. Now now! Isnt that Rupees 5 a day that’s been saved!!

Here we were, worried about the rise in the standard of living and all that jazz!!

The next time someone comes to rob your house; they will only steal & rob you off at the rate of 32Rs/day. And yes, I’m optimistic the rate of criminal activities will too see an all-time low in the coming months!

See a person, that’s why I vote! Because it helps us get insights from these delightfully intelligent and humorous people who show us the way. You might want to challenge the theory but I must warn you, a certain Mr Ex- IMF and his entourage would prove you unworthy of your own sentiment, logic, and rationale with a pinch of salt and humour and laugh at your deranged bewilderment!

The word is out –

Rupees 32 a day keeps the beggars & criminals away.